Michael Hankins - Educator, Neighbor, Friend

 “Man, you have got some impressive chest salad going on.” That’s the way I started my last conversation with Michael Hankins, as I reached to fluff up his mound of chest hair at our neighborhood pool party.

This morning, an ambulance was parked down the road in front of his house. I texted Michael to ask, “Are you all okay?” He was not okay, and I will never get a text from him again.

He was a fun-loving guy and his smile was radiant. 

Michael was working to create the best version of himself. He was always ready to talk, whether when I walked by his house while he was watering his plants or working on his new fish pond, or the many times we texted about life. 

He loved to bake; holiday baking seemed to be a chore, but I know he loved it. He loved his plants, indoors and out.

Of course we all go through trials, and Michael had his share. He had a lot of loss in his life. He lost his mom at 5, his dad at 12 and his sister when she was 29.

He was an original member of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity at UTC, and he cherished that.  Just like many of us, he sure did like to party and drink.  And he readily admitted that he did it ‘better’ than many. But he fought back and had made amends, and we talked about his past struggles.

He lived in fear for a long time. He hid being gay for years, and then he finally embraced it. He told me one time, “I can change the oil in my truck and make a big fuss about clothes. It’s a thing of art.” He loved his dear husband, George. He was the best thing that happened to Michael. 

Michael was a highly respected educator in our community.

He and George had just returned from an awesome trip to Massachusetts, and he was getting ready to start back as an exceptional education teacher at Ooltewah High School.

And this Fall, he was starting his doctorate in educational leadership.

He was my friend, and he was a fun neighbor.

I believe he knew this: he had a lot of people cheering for him, and he knew that many people loved him unconditionally.

And, while we may not be okay, I know he is okay as he reunites with his parents and sister.

A couple quotes he has shared that define the Michael I will remember:

“At the end of the day, the only questions I will ask myself are: Did I love enough? Did I laugh enough? Did I make a difference?”

“If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence.”

Rest well, brother.

https://www.chattanoogan.com/2021/8/11/432699/Jesse-Michael-Hankins.aspx

My Favorite Albums of the Decade, 2010-2019

And these are by year, but that MBDTF kicked off 2010 and it did not get much better!

Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010)

The Black Keys, Brothers (2010)

Mumford & Songs, Sigh No More (2010)

Drake, Thank Me Later (2010)

Usher, Raymond v. Raymond (2010)

Kings of Leon, Come Around Sundown (2010)

Vampire Weekend, Contra (2010)

Jay-Z & Kanye West, Watch the Throne (2011)

Beyonce, 4 (2011)

The Black Keys, El Camino (2011)

Lady Gaga, Born This Way (2011)

Drake, Take Care (2011)

Foo Fighters, Wasting Light (2011)

Frank Ocean, channel Orange (2012)

Lil Wayne, Tha Carter IV (2011)

The Avett Brothers, The Carpenter (2012)

Kendrick Lamar, good kid, m.A.A.d city (2012)

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Here (2012)

Miguel, Kaleidoscope Dream (2012)

Old Crow Medicine Show, Carry Me Back (2012)

Drake, Nothing Was the Same (2013)

The Avett Brothers, Magpie and the Dandelion (2013)

Lil Wayne, I Am Not a Human Being II (2013)

HAIM, Days Are Gone (2013)

Arctic Monkeys, AM (2013)

Childish Gambino, Because the Internet (2013)

Eminem, The Marshall Mathers LP 2 (2013)

Lorde, Pure Heroine (2013)

Old Crow Medicine Show, Remedy (2014)

Jack White, Lazaretto (2014)

Future, DS2 (2015)

Chris Stapleton, Traveller (2015)

The Weeknd, Beauty Behind the Madness (2015)

Drake, If You're Reading This It's Too Late (2015)

Yelawolf, Love Story (2015)

The Avett Brothers, True Sadness (2016)

Drake, Views (2016)

Kanye West, The Life of Pablo (2016)

The 1975, I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It (2016)

Kendrick Lamar, DAMN. (2017)

H.E.R., H.E.R. (2017)

Drake, More Life (2017)

Khalid, American Teen (2017)

Kacey Musgraves, Golden Hour (2018)

Lil Wayne, Tha Carter V (2018)

Drake, Scorpion (2018)

Travis Scott, Astroworld (2018)

Billie Eilish, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? (2019)

Megan Thee Stallion, Fever (2019)

Yelawolf, Ghetto Cowboy (2019)

DaBaby, Baby on Baby (2019)

The Highwomen, The Highwomen (2019)

My favorite Sporting Events that I attended in the Decade of 2010-2019

All the games my kids, Rigby and Lucy, participated in.

Chicago, IL – Wrigley Field

• June 28, 2010
• Chicago Cubs 1, Pittsburgh Pirates 2
• Rigby and Lucy’s first game at Wrigley

Atlanta, GA – Turner Field

• October 2, 2010
• Retirement ceremony for Bobby Cox, attended by more than 70 former players and coaches in front of an Atlanta-record crowd of 54,296. 
• Atlanta Braves 0, Philadelphia Phillies 7

Boise, ID - Albertsons Stadium

• November 19, 2010
• Boise State 51, Fresno State 0
• Steve Swayne and I saw QB Kellen Moore and a dominant Broncos defense win on a cold, freezing-rain Friday night.

Blacksburg, VA – Lane Stadium

• September 17, 2011
• Virginia Tech football
• “Enter Sandman” with family and friends

Atlanta, GA - Georgia Dome

• March 23, 2012
• NCAA Elite Eight
• 10-seed Xavier vs. 3-seed Baylor
• 4-seed Indiana vs. 1-seed Kentucky
• An awesome night watching my alma mater, Xavier, and the eventual National Champion Kentucky team

Atlanta, GA – Turner Field

• September 28, 2012
• Chipper Jones Retirement Ceremony
• New York Mets 3, Atlanta Braves 1

Boston, MA – Fenway Park

• April 21, 2013
• Boston Red Sox 2, Kansas City Royals 4
• This game was postponed from Friday until Sunday, following the horrific events of the Boston Marathon bombing. Incredible atmosphere – “B Strong”
• Rigby was featured on the Fenway Park video board in between the last innings.

Denver, CO – Coors Field

• July 4, 2013
• Colorado Rockies 9, Los Angeles Dodgers 5
• Watched the sunset into the Rocky Mountains from our first base seats and enjoyed July 4th fireworks at the stadium

Dublin, Ireland Croke Park

• August 9, 2014
• All-Ireland Senior Gaelic Football Championship Semi-Final
• Dublin defeats Monaghan with 72,440 in attendance
• I drank 10+ pints of Guinness that day

Dublin, Ireland Croke Park

• August 10, 2014
• All-Ireland Senior Hurling Championship Semi-Final
• Kilkenny defeats Limerick

Durham, NC – Duke University, Cameron Indoor Stadium

• New Year’s Day 2015
• Empty building, except for Rigby shooting basketball on the court

Chattanooga, TN – Finley Stadium

• August 8, 2015
• US amateur soccer record crowd of 18,227 sees National Premier Soccer League club Chattanooga FC fall to New York Cosmos B in overtime in championship

Chattanooga, TN – Finley Stadium

• December 5, 2015
• NCAA Football Playoff game
• Chattanooga Mocs 35, Indiana State 14
• First playoff game since 1984
• Mocs went on to win three playoff games in 2014, 2015, 2016

Cooperstown, NY

• July 22-24, 2016
• National Baseball Hall of Fame
• Ken Griffey, Jr. inducted into the Hall
• Front row watching the parade of most of the living inductees
• Meeting Pete Rose
• Walking through the Museum alongside HOF pitcher Ferguson Jenkins, who was telling his family and those around him about pitching to Hank Aaron, while standing in front of the Hank exhibit.

Toronto, Canada - Rogers Centre (SkyDome)

• July 26, 2016
• The roof was open with a view of the CN Tower
• Toronto Blue Jays 7, San Diego Padres 6 in 12 innings

Jacksonville, AL - Jacksonville State Stadium

• December 5, 2015
• Chattanooga Mocs 35, Jacksonville State 41 in overtime
• One of the most exciting football games I’ve ever been to.
• Jacob Huesman solidified his legendary status with 2 passing TDs, 2 rushing TDs and a receiving TD.

Asheville, NC - U.S. Cellular Center

• March 5, 2017
• Southern Conference Basketball Championship
• Chattanooga Lady Mocs 61, Mercer 59
• The ladies stormed back from a 13-point deficit to claim their fifth-straight SoCon title.

Chattanooga, TN - UTC Arena

• August 4, 2018
• Terrell Owens' Pro Football Hall of Fame induction
• The first of 317 members to not hold his induction in Canton, Ohio since the Hall opened in 1963.

San Francisco, CA – Levi’s Stadium

• November 1, 2018
• Terrell Owens Pro Football Hall of Fame ring and bust presentation
• I was on the field for the halftime presentation!
• The last ‘Battle of The Bay’
• San Francisco 34, Oakland Raiders 3

Atlanta , GA - Mercedes-Benz Stadium

• October 30, 2019
• MLS semi-final game: Atlanta United 1, Toronto FC 2
• My first MLS game; Atlanta is soccer crazy!

Knoxville, TN - Neyland Stadium

• November 30, 2019
• Rigby and I watched the Tennessee Vols defeat Vanderbilt 28-10 in the rain
• Eric Gray (not me; the other one) rushed for 246 yards with 3 touchdowns

Mike McCallie, my friend

Today is Mike McCallie's 67th birthday. I've known him for about 15 years. He is a devoted family man and loyal Chattanooga Mocs fan. 

Mike was hired by The Provident Life and Accident Insurance Company (now Unum) in May 1973 as an Individual Life Underwriting Trainee. I had the opportunity to work with him for nine years.

Mike and his dog, Emme.

Mike always found time to meet with me and share his knowledge or have a good story. If I need the time of day, Mike would probably give me his watch. And, boy, does he love to talk about his family. It's awesome to be around him and watch him glow when he brags about Andrew and Michael.

Mike went to Brainerd High School and began his college education at The University of Chattanooga (now UTC) and joined the Kappa Sigma fraternity. Of course, me as a Sigma Chi, he would have been my rival in school, but it sparked the conversation that started our friendship.

He progressed through various underwriting roles and retired as an Assistant Vice President on December 31, 2011 after 39 years with Unum.

Now that he is retired, I see him more and more out and about at Mocs athletic events and enjoying the good life. I see him every once in a while at Unum when he comes back to celebrate a retirement of another lifelong Unumite. 

He is a gentleman, a man of honor and courage, a man of zeal, yet humble, an intelligent man and a man of truth.

I'm so very fond of Mike, and I am proud to call him my friend. 

Cheers, Mike!

*This is part of my year-long blog devoted to people I cherish

Happy New Year!

Happy 2017! The ole GrayStation blog is being dusted off! It will be shared to talk about the people I love, admire, and who I want to celebrate while they are on this Earth. 

It's going to well-thought out on some days and other days it may be that person who pops into my mind. There are so many people in our lives who I cherish.

We've had this blog since Y2K, but it's been dormant for 6 years. Twitter and Facebook dominated our time and moved us to brief 140-character statements throughout most of our days.

So, this is going to be awesome. And take a look back on some of the 100+ posts we made from 2000-2010.

Enjoy 2017! ~Erik

The GrayStation: Lucy, Stacy, Rigby and Erik

The Generosity of Lucy and Rigby

This is one of many portraits of my 6- and 4-year-old kids.

After Lucy's swim lessons at the Sports Barn, we had a fun dinner at Taco Mac, quoting the latest Shrek movie and watching ESPN Sports Center.

The kids did not eat all the chicken tenders and fries that they ordered and wanted to get a to-go box so they could finish their food at home.

As we walked a downtown sidewalk after leaving the restaurant, a man less fortunate than us approached and asked me for money. I never carry cash and I told him so. He told me he was hungry. Without hardly a hesitation, my children gave their to-go box to the man.

He was thankful and a little shocked. I was thankful for the children God has given us. The man thanked us and walked to the nearest bench.

As I looked back over my shoulder at the man enjoying my kids' dinner, Lucy told Rigby, "He was hungry. Sometimes people don't have money to get food."

Rigby replied, "We are lucky."

What a lesson.

Remembering Kinchen Martin

On Memorial Day, remembering so many relatives that served our country. The oldest account of a military relative I can find is this one, Kinchen Martin, who describes his Revolutionary War service in his application for pension.

Kinchen Martin
B. October 5, 1762
D. June 14, 1841

Kinchen Martin served in the revolution as a member of the Virginia line. He was born in the County of Southampton, Virginia and married Chloe Hough in the county of Northampton, North Carolina. They moved to Anson County, North Carolina where he filed an application for a revolutionary war pension.

Application for pension

On this 9th. day of October one thousand eight hundred and thirty-two personally appeared in open court before the worshipful justices holding the court aforesaid for the county of Anson at the court house in Wadesboro--now sitting, Kitchen Martin, a resident of Anson and state of North carolina, aged 70, the 6th. day of January last, who being first duly sworn according to law, doth on his oath make the following declaration in order to obtain the benefit of the Act of Congress passed June 7th. ,1832.

History of Service

He entered the service of the United States under the following named officers and served as herein stated-- I volunteered as a private in the month of October (day not recollected) 1779 for three months in the town of Smithfield, County of Southampton and State of Virginia--under Capt. Whirehead--in the regiment commanded bt Col. Wells--Major Brookwell. I was marched from Smithfield to Suffolk to Portsmouth and to Williamsburg. I served out the full time andwas discharged near Richmond by Col. Wells in January 1780. In this service, I was for awhile under the command of a French Major DeClomder. (spic)
I again volunteered in February 1780 in the county of Southampton, Viaginia for three months, under the command of Capt. Rogers as a Sergeanr Major in the Militia in the regiment commanded by Col. Blount.

In this town, I marched to Petersburgh and thence to the town of Williamsburgh--and was then discharged by Col. Blount in the month of May (day not recollected).

After my return to Southampton, I again volunteered for three months in the month of June 1780 in the county of Southampton, Virginia in a company under the command of Capt. Edmunds in the Calvalry. I was under the command of General Parker. I was made an Adjutant in the troop. We were marched to Jerico and to Suffolk and and other places in that part of Virginia. I served out this three months in the Calvary and was discharged 1780.

I volunteered a 4th. time in the county of Southampton, Virginia for three months in the month of October 1780 under Capt. Blount in the Calvary--was Adjutant. Genl. Parker, commander in Cheif of our forcees--we were sent to diffrent counties of Virginia to reconnoiter the British forces--and report their situation. I went to Richmond, Virginia and was discharged by Genl. Parker near that town in January 1781.

I vounteered again for the fifth time in the month of August 1781-- in the regiment under Col. Blount--was commissioned by him as an Ensign--was sent to keep horses for the Artillery--went to Brunswick County--returned to Old Jamestown where I was sick. This was in October 1781--was there in this month when Cornwallis surrendered to Genl. Washington and the French Army. I was regularly discharged in October 1781--after serving six weeks.

Best-Ever November Day

Today was a November day that will go down as one of the best.

In summary:
-Lucy's last soccer game
-Battle Academy's first festival with fun and games
-Mocs last home football game
-Moving halftime tribute to our military
-Mocs win in a dramatic comeback
-A marriage proposal that capped off a great win
-Playing on the field after the game
-Food, drinks and fun at The Terminal
-Being with family and friends throughout the day

It started off earlier in the week looking at the weather forecast - sunny and 70 degrees on Saturday November 14. I knew then that with everything we had planned and hoped for, it was gonna be a great day.

It started off waking up in bed with my son and my daughter looking at me, waking me. I began the day thinking about my Mocs. Could we get our 6th win? Was today, as beautiful as it was, going to be that day where we really do turn a corner?

We hurried around taking showers and getting dressed for Lucy's last soccer game of the Fall season.


Lucy started the season shy but opened up as her first organized sporting experience carried on. Her coach, Cleveland Grimes, of the North River Soccer Association made it a very positive experience. Lucy's Nana and Papa were also at today's game and got to see her score a goal and receive her first trophy!

High-tailing it home, we changed clothes and headed out to Battle Academy for the first Battle Grounds Festival. Battle Academy, on Main Street in the Southside, continues to be a great school and is doing great things in the community. We are happy that Rigby is in first grade there.

The festival featured a medieval theme, with people in period attire and fun and games from a time long ago. There were also modern games and a couple dozen local artists selling their passions. Two of our favorites, Beth Gumnick and Steve Swayne were there to support the cause.

As the clock neared 1 p.m., we drove down to Finley Stadium, where our Chattanooga Mocs were taking on The Citadel in the last home game of the year. This was not an ordinary game, it was a game where we could really live our theme of "Restore the Glory" with earning a 6th victory for the year and having a winning record.

We spent an hour in the Stadium Club with our dear Copes before the 2 p.m. kickoff. A great crowd was on hand, only to see our Mocs fall behind 21-0 before the Mocs kicked a field goal to make it 21-3 at halftime. I felt depleted.

Rigby, meanwhile, was having an absolute blast running around with one of oldest friends, Aidan, his brother Wyatt and cousin Gavin. They ran all around the stadium doing what kids do. Aunt Tobi-o-Wan was at the game with us and the Hamakers joined us as well.

The halftime show honored each branch of the military while the UTC band played each branch's song. As the color guard from each branch walked out on the field, veterans and active duty stood in the crowd. There was a 21-gun salute, Taps was played and bagpipes played Amazing Grace. That alone was worth being at the game.

After a joyful, yet rather somber halftime, the Mocs took the field. The Mocs made it 21-6 then 21-13 but gave up a touchdown and Citadel was up 28-13. Many fans started leaving. For some reason, we just felt like this year's Mocs were different and that there was still life in them.

The Mocs scored a touchdown and got the 2-point conversion to make it 28-21. And what do you know? The Mocs went for an onside kick and recovered the ball! The Mocs drove down the field but stalled, and settled for field goal to make it 28-24.

And then after a game of porous defense, the Mocs held and Citadel punted. A Mocs punt return for 53 yards to The Citadel 9 yard line happened, but I had to read about it because I was jumping up and down and hugging people.

There we were, down 28-24 and it was all of a sudden 4th down on the Citadel one yard line. Ah, but the old reliable BJ Coleman to Blue Cooper pass play into the endzone gave the Mocs the lead with four minutes to go and the extra point got us to 31-28. The Mocs defense held strong for the remainder of the game and our boys earned their 6th win of the year!

After the game, we all went down on the field. My family, Steve Hamaker and son Foy, the Copes, D. Smo, Alan and Scott Cooper clans all running around throwing football.

Meanwhile, a video montage of Blue Cooper and his girlfriend appeared on the video board. Turns out that Cooper, who caught 14 passes for 139 yards and two touchdowns, was using this to propose to Maci Gault, teammate Jare's sister. What a bonus for the crowd that stayed!!

After taking pictures and throwing our arms ragged, everyone finally left Finley. The sun was setting on one of the more memorable games ever held in the stadium's 12-year existence.



We headed to The Terminal Brewhouse with Steve, Foy and Tobi. When we arrived and chose to eat outside on the green roof, we were delighted to see Eva and Lori Hairrell and other friends who were enjoying a Saturday evening. Eva has been Rigby's "girlfriend" since they were 12 weeks old.

Family, friends, pizza, beer and good times closed the evening for us all.

So if I was to write about a perfect day, this was one of those days. Thank God for the life we have been given.

The Boathouse apology attempt

A little more proof, if you needed it, that The Boathouse Restaurant's owner sent the original and now infamous emails. Make of this what you will. And kudos to local restaurants for capitalizing on the demise of the Boathouse.



From: lawton Haygood [mailto:lawton@boathousechattanooga.com]
Sent: Monday, June 29, 2009 8:15 AM
To: xxxxxx
Subject: RE: Restaurant Experience

Mr. xxxxx ,

I want to apologize for my recent comments to you.

Let me first explain why I was upset with you and possibly you might partially see what surrounded my very poor thinking and insensitive statement. The staff took a few minutes to seat you and I know that upset you which I did not understand. Since your infant was in a car seat, the manager wanted to be certain you were seated at a table with seats safe and secure for the car seat and the 3 year old. Additionally, I felt like you should have respected our right to establish our policy on bringing foods from another restaurant, whatever our reasons were and at least called and asked. It was my understanding that the manager tried to explain there were reasons for the policy beyond the health code. I got upset that you continued your arguments four days later and made disparaging remarks about my managers, who I believed had made their best effort to provide menu recommendations for your child. They handle that sort of request several times each day. It appeared you would not settle for anything less than the McDonalds food you brought for your child. In my state of irritation with you and in moment of personal weakness, I made a very insulting comment which reflected on your parenting. I did not mean for it to come out that way but it did. I had no right to make any assumptions about how you perform your duties as a parent and for that unfortunate response, I sincerely apologize.

You are correct on the Tennessee health code and I am sure it irritated you to find what she had told you, about the code, was incorrect regarding the McDonalds food. However, I do not believe the manager would tell you something if she did not believe it to be true. She, like me and most senior managers in the country, have had the understanding it was a code violation in all states. Most states, including Georgia, have restrictions on all food products brought from unlicensed purveyors. The reason being, if there is a health issue at a restaurant, they want to be able to trace back all the possible sources of the illness.

Most independent restaurants have a policy against bringing food from other restaurants , which go well beyond the health code issue. For example, we cannot tell one customer his is food is ok to bring and the next is not. Hopefully, you will appreciate the possible discrimination problems that could be involved. Certainly, within reason, we work with people who have special needs… serious dietary problems and with infant’s baby food, to name a few. But, we believe we must continue our policy on restricting foods from other restaurants.

It bothers me a great deal that I let this happen and how it insulted you, regardless of my opinion at the time. Obviously, I should have given a more generous response to begin with instead of my very insulting remark. I have no defense for what I said to you, but would like to say, this is not my normal reaction to a customer complaint. I treasure my customers and work hard as I can to please them. Hopefully, our products reflect that attitude. I hope somehow you and your family will find it in your heart to forgive me for my terribly insulting comment.

Sincerely,

Lawton Haygood

The Demise of Boathouse Rotisserie & Raw Bar

The following email chain spread like wildfire today across Chattanooga. If Lawton Haygood, the General Partner of the Boathouse Rotisserie & Raw Bar, is this type of man, then I will not step foot near his establishment.


EMAIL 1

From: name removed
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:08 PM
To: mail@boathousechattanooga.com
Subject: Restaurant Experience

To whom it may concern.

I wanted to inform you an incredibly unsatisfactorily experience I had with your restaurant. On Saturday June 20, I attempted to take my father to the Boathouse for a Father's Day dinner along with my wife, my 3 year old and my 1 month old daughter. My Father was in from out of state and I wanted to bring him to a dinner he would enjoy as he loves seafood. In order to make the experience enjoyable for everyone, we stopped at McDonalds prior to arriving at the restaurant in order to get my daughter some food that she would be willing to eat. My daughter can be a particularly picky eater at times and we wanted to make sure that she would be happy and there would be something she would be willing to eat.

When I arrived at the restaurant, it was noticeably not crowded yet I had to wait for almost 10 minutes while the multiple hostesses tried to determine where I could be seated. Keep in mind that it was probably close to 100 degrees out and that I have a one month old child. I finally was brought to my seat after this wait and was in the process of being seated, when a female employee whom I might assume was the manager came over to me and informed me that would could not bring me daughters food into the restaurant as it was against the "Health Code" for such to be done. I attempted to explain the situation to her and was basically put on deaf ears and repeatedly told that it was a health code issue and that my only choice was to leave and go elsewhere. I was never offered any sort of other alternative. So therefore despite the fact that I went out of my way to go to your restaurant, I had to then load 2 kids back into the car in the 100 degree heat and drive to another restaurant.

After this experience, I contacted the State of Tennessee to see if this was in fact a violation and received the following email back:

-----Original Message-----
From: Lori LeMaster
To: name removed
Sent: Thu, Jun 25, 2009 11:38 am
Subject: Re: Question

name removed
It is not a violation of the food service establishment rules & regulations to bring food into a restaurant from another restaurant. However, some restaurants choose to implement their own policies restricting foods from other establishments.

Thank you,

>> 6/21/2009 7:17 PM
Can you tell me if you are allowed by the health code to bring food into another restaurant. For example, can I bring in McDonalds prepared food into another restaurant if it is still packaged or is it a health Violation?

Thank You
name removed <<

Lori LeMaster
Environmental Health Program Manager
Tn Department of Health
General Environmental Health
425 5th Avenue North, 3rd floor
Nashville, TN 37247


As you can, See what I was told by your Employee was completely incorrect that it was an issue with the "Health Code" and may have only been a policy of your restaurant. If this is the case, it should have been explained to me as such, and I would think that any reasonable person would be willing to work with a customer in this regard. I had thought that the Boathouse and it partner restaurants were family friendly type establishments and would understand how difficult it can be at times to have children, but apparently, I misunderstood and it is your desire not to have customers with children.

Based on this treatment, I have elected not to continue to eat at any of your establishments and will be sure to also relay my experience to others, especially those with children. I also wanted to make sure that you understood that you have employees that are using the health code to enforce rules of your establishment that are not part of the health code.

I would appreciate this if this could be shared with the Owners/Manager in Charge or your establishment so he is aware of this experience and hopefully no future customers are treated as poorly as I was.

Have a pleasant Day.

name removed


EMAIL 2 - HERE'S THE SHOCK

From: lawton Haygood [mailto:lawton@boathousechattanooga.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:34 PM
To: name removed
Subject: RE: Restaurant Experience

name removed

You really should check with your Pediatrician, concerning a 3 year old having that much control over her nutritional program.

Lawton Haygood
General Partner
Boathouse


EMAIL 3

From: name removed
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:41 PM
To: lawton Haygood
Subject: RE: Restaurant Experience

Wow, Thanks for the caring response. I am in awe that someone who is the General Partner of a restaurant would be that smart assed to a customer. My daughter is not in control of her nutritional program by any means, I was just trying to let her have a treat and have something that she wanted to eat that evening and in turn let us have a pleasant night out as a family. I apologize that my family is that much of a burden to you and your company. I thought it would be important to get some feedback from a customer's experience, but apparently, it is not something that you care too much about.

name removed


EMAIL 4 - AND THE NEXT SHOCKER

From: lawton Haygood [mailto:lawton@boathousechattanooga.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:52 PM
To: name removed
Subject: RE: Restaurant Experience

You go to McDonalds to get a happy meal, then to a restaurant, then back in a hot car and go to another restaurant, but the 3 year old is not in charge? You need to really think about that.


EMAIL 5

From: name removed
Sent: Thursday, June 25, 2009 1:57 PM
To: 'lawton Haygood'
Subject: RE: Restaurant Experience

Thanks for the parenting advice. You are unbelievable and I will be sure to share this level of caring that you display with as much people as possible. I quickly drove through a drive through while my baby slept and got my daughter some food. It is pretty rude of you to insinuate that I was a bad parent for doing this, but based on the consistent response you and your co-workers care to display, I can see that it is more of a practice. I wish that I was as perfect a parent as you must have been. Perhaps if I only checked with you, prior to coming to the restaurant, I could have been better.

name removed

Thoughts of Will Riley

Nine-month-old Will Riley sat in the lap of family members on the front row in Cathedral of Christ the King. It was a beautiful, sunny March Tuesday afternoon in Lexington, Kentucky.

The priest conducted the Mass memorial service. The cathedral was filled with the songs and prayers of those mourning and celebrating eternal life.

After the Eucharist and Communion, family members spoke of fond memories of a young life cut short. Near the end of the two hour service, the Sigma Chi White Rose ceremony was conducted by current Sigma Chi Grand Consul Bob Jones, with remarks given by past Grand Consul Dick Hester.

As Brother Hester's remarks came to a close, more than 300 Sigma Chi brothers in attendance slowly began to stand. They formed a procession that soon lined the walls of the cathedral, each brother holding a single white rose.

Each brother, one-by-one, walked by the family, consoling and comforting. Will's mother, Kate, stood strong and hugged each brother as they passed. And then, each brother released his white rose in front of her.

Will, pacifier in mouth, just stared at the people around him. He did not know. How could he? Or did he?

As I approached the family, I leaned toward Will, and grasped his small hand - his gentle touch on my index finger washed over me. Kate looked on, and my emotions released.

I turned around with my white rose and leaned toward the urn that contained the remains of Will's father, Christopher Todd Riley. More than 100 white roses already surrounded the urn. My hands hugged the urn; my wedding ring produced a small metallic sound on the lid as I whispered, "I love you, buddy." A sense of calm and isolation came over me, but as I looked back into the cathedral I realized that hundreds more felt what I felt.

More than 200 brothers followed. The procession of Sigma Chis in that great cathedral was one of the more spiritual experiences I have ever had.

As the service came to a close, I shook hands with brothers from Denver, from Orlando, from Chicago and everywhere in between. Todd was truly loved and admired by many. One would have thought Todd was 70-years-old with the following that was there, but alas, Todd left this earth at the young age of 33. A life cut short, but done so at the calling of God.

Will, you won't know your father physically, but the memories provided that day and the people in attendance will certainly provide you with the everlasting love that Todd gave to you while on this earth.

Will, your father loved you so much. I was with him a couple weeks ago at Tennessee Tech and the first thing he spoke of was you and Kate. I have a text message on my phone from him that Saturday, February 21, telling me he was "on campus now."

Will, many of us have promised to be by your side when you go to college and pledge Sigma Chi, somewhere around 2027. Until then and forever more, you have a lot of uncles by your side.

Will, your dad was a man of good character, he possessed good morals and had a high sense of honor. He fought the good fight. He wore the White Cross of Sigma Chi worthily through life. I was honored to know him, to be his friend, to be his brother.

Rest in peace, Todd.

All honor to his name.

Aileen Martin Gray

My last grandparent, Aileen Martin Gray, passed away Saturday, February 28. She was 89. She spent March 1, her 67th wedding anniversary, in heaven with Astor Holmes Gray, Jr. Rest in peace, Pap and Grandmother, you are together again!

Obituary

Mrs. Aileen Martin Gray, 89, of Peachland, died Saturday, February 28, 2009, in the Prattville Baptist Hospital, Prattville, Ala.

Funeral services will be 2:00 p.m. Wednesday in Peachland Baptist Church with Rev. Larry Allen and Rev. Charles Cauthen officiating. Interment will follow in Peachland Cemetery. The family will greet friends at Leavitt Funeral Home on Tuesday from 5:00-7:00 p.m.

Mrs. Gray was born in Anson County on May 31, 1919, a daughter of the late Fannie Lee Hyatt and Jasper Lee Martin Sr. She was married to the late Holmes Gray Jr. She was a longtime resident of Peachland, recently moving to Millbrook, Ala., to be closer to her son.

Survivors include one son, Holmes (Sandi) Gray III of Millbrook, Ala.; five grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; half-brothers and sisters, James “Jim” Martin and Nancy Lovett, both of Wadesboro, Lillian Carpenter of Polkton, and Elizabeth Horne of Peachland.

Mrs. Gray was preceded in death by three brothers, William Thomas Martin, Hendley Martin and Hubert Martin; and three half-brothers, Jasper Martin Jr., Guy Martin, and Nelson Martin.

Memorials may be made to Peachland Baptist Church, P.O. Box 146, Peachland, N.C., 28133. Leavitt Funeral Home is in charge of arrangements. Online condolences may be made at leavittfuneralhomewadesboro.com.

A win thanks to 237

As Super Bowl XLIII was winding down, I could not help but wonder where the Steelers defense had gone. Larry Fitzgerald wondered that too as he ran straight down the center of the field for a touchdown, giving the Cardinals the lead.

Ah, but when the Cardinals took the lead, there were two minutes and 37 seconds left on the clock. That's 2:37. For those who know me well, a lucky number of mine is 237. I sat on the couch just thinking, this is it - the Steelers are going to come back and win this thing.

For the love of The Ohio State University (Santonio Holmes) and Miami Ohio (Ben Roethlisberger), the Steelers drove down the field, scored a touchdown and captured their sixth Super Bowl championship.

Big thanks to 237!

Son and nephew

I had the pleasure of taking Rigby and my nephew, Connor, to the Mocs vs. Georgia Southern basketball game tonight. Connor was visiting Chattanooga for the weekend - he lives in Knoxville.

Upon picking Connor up, I turned off the radio and listened to the conversation in the back seat. They talked about movies, games and friends at school. I did not think much of it and just drove on to the arena.

We got to the arena just in time for tip-off. Those two boys practically sat in their seats the entire game, except for going to get 32-ounce cokes and a tub of popcorn, as well as trips to the restroom.

As a big Mocs fan, I take much pride in how Rigby is starting to grasp basketball and cheer on the Mocs. He was yelling for plays to be made, cheering when we scored, attentively watched the scoreboard and pumped his fist just like his daddy does.

Connor followed right along, following Rigby's lead and danced to almost every Mocs pep band song. Throughout the game, they urged for the Big River blimp to fly over them and drop the coupons - it never made it over us.

The second half was full of action on the court. At the beginning of the half, I placed my trust in the boys and went to the concourse to get them ice cream. As I made it back my section, they were in their seats, cheering on the Mocs - it was a good feeling to take a little risk and know they were okay, but noting that I had some friends watching over in the row behind.

The Mocs scored 100 points and the boys were very excited about our win. After the game, I took them down to the court and they ran around playing a game involving throwing their hats in the air and swinging at each other - no harm no foul I guess.

We made the leisurely walk back to the car and then headed back to the Oglesby Ranch in East Ridge, where pizza and family awaited.

The radio was still off, and that is when I realized what I did not think about when I was driving to the game - how special that moment was. Here were two little boys in the back seat, talking about their favorite movies, talking about favorite movie quotes and scenes, barely getting a breath in between. One of these boys I helped make, the other one I held in my arms soon after he was born. I have known both of these boys since their life on earth began and have watched them grow into smart, energetic and caring beings.

For a thoughtful moment I pictured them 70 years later, talking about who knows what. What a great day.

~ ~ ~

P.S. Here it is midnight. I am finishing this entry at the keys of my MacBook Pro and Rigby is sitting by my side, blowing torches out on the Indiana Jones Lego game for the Nintendo DS.

Santa knows

Christmas is almost upon us and, oh, what a time we will have!

We spent the weekend in White Pine and enjoyed time with family for some pre-Christmas gift opening and stomach stuffing of great food.

The time-honored tradition of watching the Dandridge Christmas Parade was also in full effect on Saturday afternoon. Erik spent Saturday morning with 1989 classmates at Sevier County High School, touring the halls and telling stories.

So Rigby and Lucy have told us what they want for Christmas. Rigby told Santa the other day that he wants a remote control dinosaur, namely "Spike," the ultra dinosaur. Santa looked at me and then asked Rigby, do you want anything else? Rigby, said "Nope, that's it."

Lucy was a little easier. She wants anything pink - purse, Barbie, Barbie car, etc.

So later I asked Rigby what if Santa could not find it. Rigby said, "Santa does not have to look for it, his elves make it."

Rigby later told Stacy that he wanted a space station as well. When we asked Rigby what kind of space station, Rigby said, "Santa knows." Guess he will have to figure that one out.

So off I went to Target tonight, with Santa. I swear a tornado of shopping went through that place and there was no Spike, much less anything else.

But there were about eight Spikes at Toys R Us! While Santa was there, a Disney Princess kitchen set happened to make it into Santa's shopping cart as well.

The economy is not hurting in Chattanooga! The lady at Toys R Us told me that they got 144 Wii's on Friday night and that the last one sold Sunday evening. There were more than six Toys R Us employees roaming the aisles stocking items. The place was quite full of people after 10 p.m. and they are open until Midnight until Christmas eve.

Fun times.

Merry Christmas to all! Hope you enjoy your friends, family and the reason for the season!

A Great December Weekend

The GrayStation family had such a great weekend - MAINx24, The Chattanooga Market, Inhabit, good eats around town and spending fun times with family and friends.

We arrived on Main Street Saturday morning just in time for the Main Street parade. Rigby had already started the morning earlier at TAG Gym practicing his gymnastic skills.

It was great to see so many people on Main Street enjoying a neighborhood parade in cloudy, windy, 35 degree weather. After the parade concluded, we followed Santa in his horse and carriage down Main Street. We ran into friends along the way and then crossed the street over to Bluegrass Grill. If you haven't been, get there.

After finishing a great brunch, we strolled on down Main Street to Green/Spaces and then on to Niedlov's Breadworks. They have some of the best bread in town, and our bag of cheddar pepper sourdough and a holiday Stollen proves it. And a big full-of-blueberries muffin for Lucy.

After enjoying ourselves visiting various stops along Main Street, we made our way on down the Southside to the Chattanooga Market to see Ivey Handcrafted and other folks.

After the Market, we toured some open houses in Jefferson Heights and enjoyed the Take Root tree-planting scene at the J.H. Park.

We made it home in the afternoon for a quick catnap before we took the kids to Nana and Papa's for the evening.

And so the night began. We had an awesome evening and dinner at St. John's Restaurant with the Hamakers, Stricklands and Fernandezes, not to mention some other nearby political figures and prominent citizens.

The late evening led us to Loose Cannon Studios on Rossville Ave off Main Street for a great Inhabit party, enjoying beer+wine+liquor+food+music+shenanigans. The place was flat-out packed, so much that the street outside was closed off and the loading dock area out back was loaded with fire pits to keep the 500+ people warm on a clear, chilly evening.

We met up with many friends we had not seen in a long time and others who we see and enjoy regularly. What a great time.

We made it back to a sleeping location at the Oglesby Ranch in the wee hours and then woke around sunrise. We loaded up the kids and, on the way home, we drove down Main Street surveying the post-event scene and realizing how lucky we are to live in such a great city. One last stop before we got home, Hardee's breakfast!

Sunday was great as well. We enjoyed family time and then went for an afternoon drive. We went back out to the Chattanooga Market to buy some Christmas gifts and found a great new salsa maker from Atlanta. Wow!

We had dinner back down on our local haunt, Frazier Avenue, and enjoyed a tasty new spot, Good Dog. The various hot dogs, fries and "condiment gallery" were awesome. Dessert consisted of what else? Clumpies.

We finished the day driving around North Chattanooga looking at Christmas lights and then filled up on $1.43 a gallon gas.

Fall Break

We recently had a great Fall Break with the kids. It was Rigby's first break from kindergarten, which he is thriving in.

We spent the week doing a little shopping, house cleaning, eating at our favorite restaurants, hiking on part of the Cumberland Trail on Signal Mountain, visiting the Creative Discovery Museum, playing at the Pumpkin Patch playground, resting and just enjoying our time together.

We spent the last weekend of our Fall Break in Atlanta. On Friday, we made our first stop at The Varsity, of course, and then visited the Fernbank Museum of Natural History. What a fun museum - the kids really liked it. We later shopped in Perimeter Mall - always nice to visit the Apple Store!

On Saturday, we visited Imagine - Atlanta Children's Museum, ate at Fritti, a very Italian restaurant in Virginia Highlands and then ended up in Little Five Points for the infamous Halloween Parade. What a time we had! The main streets were closed for the festivities. We saw everything from zombies, to princesses, to nuclear victims, to vampires, to elves, to kids in teddy bear outfits, to a woman dressed as Sarah Palin carrying a baby and a gun. The parade last more than an hour!

We ended the Saturday with a trip to Philips Arena to cheer on the Atlanta Thrashers hockey team, who beat the Buffalo Sabres through overtime and into a shootout. It was a great first game for the kids. Rigby really got into it. Lucy liked the ladies who cleaned up the ice during timeouts - so did Erik.

On Sunday, we went to the new World of Coca-Cola. It is a very manageable journey through Coke history and it ended with flavor stations through the World of Coca-Cola. There are more than 60 varieties of drinks from around the world. Lucy and Rigby tried almost everything, some of it was quite untasty. Needless to say, we were all fairly wired on the drinks.

So a great time had by the GrayStation and then it was back to school and work.

Our Boy is Five

Five years ago, Stacy and I awaited the birth of our son Rigby. Stacy championed through more than a day of labor. It was very fitting that he arrived on Labor Day.

And today, we followed and watched our little boy climb a mile-long trail with an elevation change of almost 500 feet at the Little River Canyon National Preserve in Alabama.

Oh, how time flies.

We shared a wonderful weekend with friends and family, celebrating Rigby's fifth birthday.

We had a Friday night party at our house with his friends and a black Spider-Man cake. We then had a Saturday afternoon party at our house with family and a red Spider-Man cake. We are so very fortunate to have such a loved little man.

Robert Fulgham said 20 years ago and this is a great quote that fits Rigby, "Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some."

We love you, Rigby. You live your life already with character, responsibility and compassion for others.

Summer Road Trip - Day 6 & 7

Sunday was our last day in Chicago and we were going to make the most of it.

Rigby's allergies started acting up and he had a nice little cough. Luckily we had his medicine with us. As Erik got it out and was preparing it, the kids were on the couch watching TV. All of a sudden, Lucy started coughing. We turned to look at Lucy and she had her hand over her mouth preparing a great acting job. We all started to chuckle, but Lucy kept going. Rigby exclaimed that Lucy was tricking us. We all knew it, but Lucy was trying so hard to convince us - she wanted to be just like brother. It was a great moment.

After packing up the car, we checked out of the hotel and went into the city. We parked in South Chicago and rode the orange line train to the Loop. We emerged at the base of the Sears Tower, the tallest building in the US and in the Top 5 in the world depending on what is measured (occupied floor or to the top of antennas), although about 5 other buildings are being constructed in India, China, South Korea and the Chicago Spire that will kick the Sears Tower out of the Top 10.

The view from the 103rd floor is still awesome. We took a minute elevator ride to the top. It was a clear sunny day and we made a trip to each side of the building studying the scenery below and beyond. Rigby was amazed and played “I Spy” on the streets below with Stacy.

The restrooms on the 103rd floor sky deck, 1,353 feet above street level are the highest in the world. We made sure to leave our mark.

After a good time in the Sears Tower, we made our way over to the Magnificent Mile, shopping and eating mecca.

We went to the Original Uno Pizzeria and enjoyed a mid-afternoon lunch of tasty deep-dish pepperoni pizza.

Later, we did a little shopping at the Lego Store, Lucky Brand, Hello Kitty and Sephora. We loaded up on some Lego gifts and Lucy got a purse at Hello Kitty.

So that was it, we took the train back to our car and left the city heading for home. We drove through Indianapolis and into Greensburg, Indiana, where we stayed at a brand new Hampton Inn and Suites for the night. Greensburg is home to a new Honda auto manufacturing plant. We stayed in town all of about 9 hours, most of that sleeping.

On Monday, we drove a little out of our way and went to I-75 and made about an hour stop in Cincinnati for some Busken cookies and some new Xavier Musketeers gear.

We had a great trip. It was fun enough for Rigby that he declared he was okay with moving to Chicago if we had to.

We got back by 5 p.m., just in time to get to Rigby's school for a kindergarten parents meeting.

Summer Road Trip - Day 5

After our standard wakening and eating of the free breakfast, we loaded up early and drove to South Chicago and the Museum of Science and Industry.

This is the largest science museum in the Western Hemisphere.

The museum features a vast array of awesome exhibits, and these are all indoors so you get an idea of how big the place is:

- a German submarine (U-505) captured during World War II
- a 3,500 square foot model railroad that has a scale model Chicago skyline, mountain range and then a scale model Seattle on the other side
- the first diesel-powered streamlined stainless-steel passenger train (Pioneer Zephyr)
- a NASA space capsule used on the Apollo 8 mission.
- a Boeing 727 hanging from the ceiling
- an Omnimax theater
- a steam locomotive
- a working toy assembly line
- a genetics lab
- a chicken hatchery (yes, we saw chicks hatched)
- a mock-up of a Chicago street from the early 1900s
- and so on . . .


The building was initially built as The Palace of Fine Arts for 1893 World's Columbian Exposition (better known as the Chicago World's Fair), then it housed the Field Museum and has been the science museum for 75 years. The building itself is a museum piece with its massive halls and beautiful rotunda entrance.

We stayed there for five hours and did not see everything. That is pretty good though with two kids! We played in the great lawn out front and enjoyed the clear blue sky before departing the grounds.

We spent the rest of the day exploring the city by car, using our GPS to visit certain areas we wanted to see. We stopped at Wrigley Field and took Rigby's picture underneath the famous Cubs sign as well as with the Ernie Banks "Mr Cub" statue.

Our meal of the evening consisted of some great Thai food at Siam Pasta in North Chicago. We ordered lots of items. Rigby ate a plate of fried Tofu and soy sauce - he said it tastes like chicken. Lucy sort of picked through stuff, but she ate at the hotel later.

We got back to the hotel early to prepare for our last day in the Windy City.

Summer Road Trip - Day 4

Today (Friday) after breakfast, we decided to drive downtown today instead of taking the train. On our way, we stopped at the Sigma Chi International Headquarters. Erik met with the Executive Director, Mike Dunn, who has become a great friend since their first days together at one of Sigma Chi's Leadership Workshops several years ago.

After a quick tour of the headquarters building and the fraternity history museum, we headed down the Lake Michigan shoreline to the city.

We parked in a parking garage under Soldier Field, home of the Chicago Bears.

Our goal for the day, visit the Field Museum and the Shedd Aquarium. What a day!

The Field Museum was amazing. Of course the centerpiece was "Sue," the largest and most complete T. Rex skeleton in the world. We saw hundreds of mammals and birds along our journey, all real, but stuffed with sawdust and metal. The exhibition halls in this place were massive. We could have spent an entire day in there as adults, but with kids we sort of raced through to see what was around every corner. One of the best was the massive hall of dinosaur skeletons, brontosaurus, triceratops, stegosaurus, etc.

At the Shedd, a 75-year-old Greek and Roman style architecture building, we visited many tanks and saw all types of fish from all over the world. We got very close to sharks in the new exhibit, Wild Reef. Lucy really enjoyed the penguins.

The attached 15-year-old oceanarium featured a 3 million gallon salt water tank. The surroundings had a spruce and cedar rain forest on the water’s edge. We watched a dolphin show where they leaped and splashed. Sea lions and otters played in other nearby coves. Another favorite was seeing the beluga whales.

We later walked all through Grant Park to the famous Buckingham Fountain. The sun was setting and the mist from the geyser-like fountain was cool against the summer sun.

We then walked through Millennium Park to the Cloud Gate, or "The Bean" as it is called. The 110-ton elliptical sculpture is made of a seamless series of highly polished stainless steel plates, which reflect the city's skyline and the clouds above. It looks like a blob of liquid mercury and measurers 66-feet long by 33-feet high.

Next was the Crown Fountain, which consists of two 50-foot glass block towers at each end of a shallow reflecting pool. The towers project video images of a 1,000 Chicago citizens, and when they open their mouths, water flows out. Awesome!

As darkness fell, we walked to the Red Line and took a train to the closest station to the Field. We walked back across a park to the parking garage under a full moon and beautiful night skyline.

We drove back towards the hotel and stopped in Evanston to enjoy a late night dinner at Dave's Italian Kitchen. The restaurant was in a basement and was all Italian. We started out with loaves of bread and olive oil. The kids loved that! Our dinner soon came out and featured an awesome whole wheat pepperoni pizza and a baked spaghetti, mozzerella and meat sauce. We had more than enough to take back to the hotel - thank goodness we have a fridge!